Cleopatra's favorite cat
Got his hands on Caesar's spats
The heat was on as you could see
So he front 'em to Mark Antony
Said, "My girlfriend's cat is smarter than me."

Caesar had an eye for clothes
He saw them spats and said, "I like those."
Caesar had no thing to say, except
"Jesu Christi Domine
Et tu, Brute
Jesu Christi Domine
Et tu, Brute."

The senate tried to sympathize
It was the cat they should despise
Informant told his whereabouts
Centurions to seek him out

Centurions! There go the centurions

Brutus had to turn his head
When THIS cat done went and said
"If he's got this thing for shoes
He just might be ambitious, too
They got holidays all in his name
And all a tyrant needs is fame
Those fascists don't play pretty games
Egypt is the place to be
But Rome is a democracy
Rome!"

Caesar never got them back
'Cause they killed his ass in the second act
Brutus spoke, then Antony
Said, "My girlfriend's cat is smarter than me
Friends, Romans, can't you see
My girlfriend's cat is smarter than me
Egypt's biggest rivalry
Cleopatra's cat and me."